Imagine you are a patient in a hospital. Your lungs so battered and beat you need oxygen to breathe. It’s given to you and there’s relief. Until you heal and can breathe on your own, you keep sucking in the air. Depending on it. Needing it. Not being able to live without it, until one day you can breathe on your own. You’re released and gone back home. You can breathe the fresh air with no pain and it fills your lungs making you feel alive again. You thank God that you are now not dependent on that tube in your nose.

Remember the container of O2 that helped you to live? It’s empty and sits either waiting to be refilled or in a dumpster somewhere.
I would much rather be the fresh air.

Unclang The Bell (My Choose Me Moment)

I said it. There. I said it. I’d like to unring the bell just like Teddy did, but I can’t. Once everyone hears the bell you can’t unclang it. I really wouldn’t use the metaphor of a bell. I would have came up with something more original like a freaking siren. I don’t say the words and not mean them. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t. If I say them I mean them and don’t ever take them back, because they are rarely said out of my mouth.
Crush on Teddy. That’s what you want fine. But crushes aren’t for men over thirty. They are for stupid women and teenage girls. I had that moment I crushed. Was it stupid? No. But I had it just the same. I pushed the siren. I rang the bell. I said “yes”.
I can’t compete with a past. I can only fight for a future.

So….

I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like you being a McWhore, let you not give into technology, dedicate songs to you over youtube, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, crush on me, love me.

Hot Flashes

Definition

By Mayo Clinic staff

Hot flashes can happen at any time, leaving you sweaty and red-faced. Although other hormonal conditions can cause them, hot flashes are frequently due to menopause. Hot flashes are quite common. As many as 3 out of 4 women experience hot flashes as they go through menopause.

Treatment for hot flashes isn't necessary if you're tolerating them well. If your hot flashes become particularly bothersome, treatment options are available. Finding the best way to control hot flashes can take time. Start by asking yourself how hot flashes are disrupting your daily life. Then, with your doctor's help, consider the benefits and drawbacks of lifestyle changes, prescription medications and other common remedies.

Hormonal conditions. Those I have. Non-menopausal due to my age. My estrogen levels have shot up rather than down by the presence of Owen’s testosterone. How could I not have a hot flash? Look at him. Now most hot flashes are presented upper body. Mine a little different area. I need to do a study on this. A personal study. I am the test subject. Owen being the known cause for this clinical trial.

My findings will be based over a indefinite period of time. The hot flashes will be rated for intensity, increased heart rate and other effects to the body when encountering Major Hunt in certain situations.

The first tests will be of the five senses

Sight.

Sound.

Touch.

Smell.

Taste.

Continual research will be made as test subject and cause continue to coexist.

The Sacred Cow.

So yesterday Owen poses the question "do you ever wonder what the guy who discovered milk was doing with the cow?" Then the conversation turned into the whole Macaroni /Cheese and Adam/Eve thing.
The cow was just minding his business until some guy decided to stroke his utters. He had to look under the thing and see the resemblence of his own anatomy and thought to himself "I stroke something that looks like that because Eve is too busy cooking macaroni and cheese and they definately do not resemble her breasts. Wow it has more than one and I thought this beast was just good on a bun with a side of onion rings."
Now I can't imagine what gave him the brilliant idea to drink what came out of the utters. Not that he could drink out of his *cough* utter. Well he could but that is disgusting.

I have spent too much time thinking on this and less time thinking about my own problems. See I have this cow. To me, its meat. Just a big slap of bloody meat that I want to sink my teeth into and take a bite. If I was that man, that's all I would consider it for. Food. Survival. Do not attempt to go under its belly to figure out what those things were for. I don't need to know. But no...Owen had to go and put my hand on the utter and make me want to get and drink the milk. I was fine with no milk for awhile.
Burke gave me milk but never made me get it for myself. It was handed to me and he comanded me to drink it. He let me cut the hell up out of that cow. When he left, I didn't need to drink from the cow. I was full. I wasn't thristy. I didn't need it. I just needed the cow. The meat. And it was good.

So now here is my dilemma. Meat or Milk? I want the milk, but my carnal instinct to survive has me convinced that I can with just the meat. That I don't need the milk, but I do. Moreso I want the milk, but if I kill the sacred cow, I won't have the milk. I need both. I want both. And he just can't get me another cow make me believe the milk is good from that one so I kill my cow for meat, then take his cow away.

What scares me is there won't be any cow left at all. That I will remain hungry and thirsty and he will give his cow to someone else to drink from.
And all I will be left with is the carcass of my dead cow with flies circling around it.

Owen, I want my milk, the cow and eat from it too. To answer your question maybe he wanted just the same thing I do. An all inclusive cow.